Tuesday 25th September, 2007

s. leaves Zazz...

The end of an era...

Dearest members,

It is with a heavy heart that I write this on Tuesday, September 25th, 2007 - precisely eighteen months since our doors first opened - as I need to tell you that as of Thursday, October 4th, 2007, I will be leaving Zazz. I'm leaving Zazz in search of greener pastures and thicker, more knotted USB extension cords.

An opportunity came along that I just couldn't refuse, so last Thursday I told the bosses, and they cried their little eyes out, but have since sucked in their gut, shook my hand and wished me the best of luck for the future.

It's been an incredible year and a half, zazzeurs and zazzettes.  I've made so many friends here, had so, so many good times and above all, shared an experience with all of you, that is, still to this day, unparalleled on any website in Australia.  We've had bad times and we've had good, we've had laughs and we've had tears - but all good things must come to an end, and it's time for me to take my leave.

But before I go - and since this gives Zazz a chance to make sweeping changes - I wish to invite you, my friends, to put up your hand and tell us what you would love to see different about the Zazz site.  What secret little desires have you wished Zazz would implement, but haven't?  What little bit or piece isn't working exactly as it should be?  Who would you like to see voted out next on Australia Idol?  

You have the power now, members, to help shape the future of Zazz - because Zazz is going to need a new copywriter, a new photographer, a new forum moderator, a new competitions host, a new blogger, a new toilet scrubber and a new ...well...a new "Ess" to hug and kiss and push around till he or she cries in a huddled mess in the corner of the toilet block.  I know you can do it.

Also, if you've always secretly thought that I was crap and that you could do a better job in your sleep - then now is the time to tell us!  The company is officially beginning its search for my replacement now - and would love to hear from you.  So if you think you can do what I do and you're looking to join a great company, then send your resume to fred@zazz.com.au today!  They're looking for someone with ideas, either part-time or full-time and take it from me, the pay ain't too shabby either.

Well, I guess that's all I've got to say, zazzeurs and zazzettes.  Don't think for a second that because I'm not working here, I won't be hanging around - I'll be as inactive as I've ever been, with a whole new host of wacky alter-egos that you'll just love trying to pick, so that we can finally, together, make fun of someone else's poor spelling and grammer - but until then, happy trails, friends.


Love and Peace - for the last time, 

Sammy "s." Brent

Monday 24th September, 2007

Hi! My Name is Centurion Season Stylus

Or was that Cascading Style Sheets?

My uncle recently lent me the sixth season of The Sopranos on DVD.  I'm a huge fan of the show since watching it at the sexy new time of 3:30am or whenever the hell channel nine, in their infinite wisdom, decided it would be best broadcasted - and ever since, I've been a real addict. 


I borrowed the first five seasons from my friend Benji about two months ago and soared through them in about four days - and although the series slumps a bit around season four, this last season has really picked it back up again and I'm actually looking forward to sitting on my ass later.


In other news, the Brownlow Medal count is on tonight, so here's the 411: Brent Harvey and Gary Ablett Jr. draw on 33 votes.  You heard it here first.



In other news still, the centurion was a very interesting seller - with a big sales figure for a new item.  The cooler/warmer pad was a great item that didn't get the appreciation I reckon it deserved and the Epson Stylus was a fantastic Sunday - selling out at about lunchtime.


Have a great Monday,


Sunday 23rd September, 2007

Competition 72 - Sunday 23/09/07

Be the best, beat the rest and win a Digital Tyre Gauge!
Hey, everyone - this week`s comp has started! Follow me to check it out or read below for details...

Classic One-Liners

No, I don`t want you to pick me up - because if that were the comp, no one would be left without a prize.

Instead, this week I want you to tell me a story in the vain of a 50 worder - but instead of a word limit, you`ve got a space limit AND a content restriction.

All you have to do to win is tell the most imaginative, exciting, spooky, funny or otherwise exceptional story that starts with the phrase "In a world where" AND fits within one line of this forum using the standard font size and format (no italics for shortening or bold for enlarging)!

Easy as! Here`s an example:
In a world where men are men and women are women, there is only one way to attain victory: dance.

Good luck, everyone! See you on Friday, after 11 in the winner`s circle!
Friday 21st September, 2007

Hi! My Name is View

And I'm a pro!

I've been trying to make the most of my new beast computer by running all the latest games on it to see how it handles them - and my suspicions were proven true, it's incredible.


I got the Orange Box and have been playing Team Fortress 2 - the OTHER sequel that I've been looking forward to for like eight years - and it just looks remarkable.  If you haven't played it yet, then I highly reccomend.


Also, I had an email yesterday from a member asking what score I got on 3DBenchmark06 - well, I got a 9612 - which isn't too shabby for like $1500.  I thought I already answered this, though?


Anyway, now all I need is to actually get GOOD at one of those games and I'm ready for the next Shafted



In other news, the Proview 7" digital photo frame was an absolute smash seller - with not only selling out at a tonne of units, but also clearing an absolute boatload of SD cards.


If Apple hasn't made a big enough dent in the world's flash memory stock, we've certainly done our part.


Have a great weekend!


Thursday 20th September, 2007

Hi! My Name is Ion

To the MAX!

The packing team here has been completely overrun the last two weeks with your incessant buying, guys!


I mean, come on - I know you really wanted those cubes and the computers and the hard drives and every other little thing, but spare a thought for us at the top of the food chain - who have to lower ourselves everytime there's a sell out. 


Nah, I'm just kidding - we love it.  There's nothing more satisfying than seeing a product go concept to launch: all the way from just a picture and a price to a full blown zazz of the day to a bunch of orders to a bunch of packages to a bunch of happy customers.  It's a beautiful thing.


Great song, great clip - just perfect. 


In other news, yesterday was ANOTHER knockout for the Zazz team with a fantastic high volume sale.


Thanks to everyone that made it possible - expecially Adam for finding such a great product.


Peace out,


Wednesday 19th September, 2007

Hi! My Name is Cube

But I ain't no square...

I used to always drink long black coffees in the morning but the more I have of one kind of bean, the less interested I become in it.  Take 80 Spaces, for instance - which is where I have my coffee every morning before work - I used to be in love with their strong long black or double espresso, but the more I had their beans, the less interested I became.  And I'm at the point now, where their caffeine doesn't even hit me - which is a real problem.


So, instead, I've switched to lattes.  Now, you have to understand, this is a big move for me - because I've been making fun of latte sippers my entire life - so now that I've become one, I feel really dirty.  But hey, at least the coffee's good again :)




So, um, yesterday was like, the biggest sale ever.


And I don't mean that in a way like "dude, yesterday was huge" - I mean it in a way like we physically sold more units than we ever have before in the history of the company, including zazzmanias.  Although, perhaps unsurprisingly, we didnt' have the most visitors ever - in fact, it was only the twlefth highest visitorship ever.  


What does this mean?  It means a whole tonne of old zazzers got themselves an 8x8x8cm bargain yesterday.  And some of us got eighteen 8x8x8cm bargains :D




Tuesday 18th September, 2007

Hi! My Name is Joy...Book

Go on, book me!

I got an email from someone yesterday asking me what my favourite zazz has been so far.  I haven't replied to you yet, sir, because I didn't have anything to say today and I thought I might kill two birds with one stone and use this platform to give my answer.


If we're talking about stuff I've bought, then there have been a few that I've bought on the site with the s. name, a few with pseudonyms and a few I've paid the petty cash for - all of which I've been very happy with.  A few that come to mind are today's cubes, the genius cordless mouse and the 8Gb memory stick.


If we're speaking about stuff I wish I'd bought (but didn't have the green) - then there have been plenty of items: the massage chair, the Apache, the BenQ projector, the MSI laptop just to name a few. 


So in answer to your question, sir, I don't know.  Although, I do think that naming one item would demean the others - and I have to go to work with them every day.  I don't really want to cause a rift in any of my professional relationships, now do I?



In other news, the JoyBook started slow but heated up fast and sold a fantastic number of units to an excited audience.


Have a great day,


Monday 17th September, 2007

Hi! My Name is Cute Tyre Set

And I am composed of four tiny pink wheels...

We got a lot more painting done this weekend.  I'm pretty sure that if I can knock out the architraves, skirting boads and cupboards this Saturday, then I should be able to focus on the bathroom remodelling on Sunday - and maybe even move in mid-next-week.


Originally I had set a small budget for doing these renovations and I haven't even come close to it yet, but it IS taking much longer than I had thought - and I've got two people helping me.  I'm enjoying it, but I kinda wish it was all over and I could just move in already.  It's really exhausting working from 8-4, then doing side project work from 4:30-6:30, then painting prep from 7:30-10:00 every day.  Oh well, you only have to do it once per property, right?


I have nothing to say about this video.  Not a thing


In other news, the CutieDX was a great new sale for us selling out in the afternoon; the tire gauge was a fantastic import from ZTM that sold to a huge number - just shy of a sellout and the K&M Set was something a bit different also, with mediocre sales for a Sunday.


Still, all in all, it was a great Zazzkend.


Peace out,


Sunday 16th September, 2007

Competition 71 - Sunday 16/09/07

Be the best, beat the rest and win a USB Desklamp!
Hey, everyone - this week`s comp has started! Follow me to check it out or read below for details...

Pac Attack!

This one`s so easy your dog can play!

All you have to do to win the terrible USB desklamp is get the highest score in [url=http://www.thepcmanwebsite.com/media/pacman_flash/]Flash Pacman[/url], take a printscreen for proof and post it here as a thumbnail for forumz, along with your score in text (so people [read: I] don`t have to click every image) and pray that someone doesn`t eat one more dot than you!

It couldn`t be simpler - whoever has the highest score posted before Friday at 11am wins the prize!

Good luck, everyone! See you on Friday, after 11!
Friday 14th September, 2007

Hi! My Name is Sandisk BPM

That almost kinda sorta makes sense!

So I got in at 7:30 yesterday and started writing my blog - because usually if I don't write them early, I don't write them at all - and I'm such a friggin' idiot that after finishing this huge diatribe about how awesome goat's cheese is, I pressed "cancel" instead of delete.  See, it's really easy to make this mistake:

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us


So much so, that I do it all the time - but for some reason, I really couldn't be bothered re-writing it, so I didn't.  In any case, here's a really brief version of yesterday's blog...


This is the best spreadable goat's cheese ever.


This is its website .


You can buy it at the supermarket.


That is all. 


I kinda wish I hadn't deleted it now, it was much more interesting than that...



In other news, the Sandisk was an enormous seller - with a late afternoon sell out.  Similarly, the BPM was a real knockout with an evening sell out.


Love to all and have a great weekend!


Wednesday 12th September, 2007

Hi! My Name is Rubber

And please don't burn Rubber.

So all the painting seems to be going pretty well at Ess' new "pad". 


I'm probably the luckiest young person in Melbourne, since both my cousin's husband and my step-father have been bending backwards to help me out while I sit here and write non-sensical jibberish in an attempt at making you, our members, laugh.  Actually, when it comes down to things, I'm really quite handy - a lot handier than your average nerd, anyway. 


In any case, it's looking a lot like things are going to be done by the weekend - which means I can get cleaners in real soon and probably even move in early next week.


I'd just like to take what little soapbox I have to thank David and Braden - you've been more awesome than David Bowie.  And he's way awesome.  Thanks, guys!




In other news, the rubber bracelet sale was a real knockout - selling out to a truckload of units in the early evening.  Sounds like a perfect little sale to me :)


Lovin' it,



P.S. Shana Tova and Happy New Year to all our Jewish friends! 

Tuesday 11th September, 2007

Hi! My Name is Laser

What a cool name, man.

I barely slept last night for some reason - and by consequence, I was feeling really crappy this morning.


I got into work at like 7:30 and did a few things but mainly twiddled my thumbs and did some stockchecking - one thing I really like to do in the morning is take a walk through the packing floor and clean up after the bomb that hits as soon as "Ess the retarded neatfreak" leaves.  I LOVE that. Ahh, I can't blame them - they work their butts off.


Anyway, so at about eight (which is when I normally start) I went and got a Fetta Tomato and Basil pide from my usual morning cafe and I reckon that within about 15 seconds of the first bite, I was already feeling a thousand times better.  It's funny what food can do to boost your morale :)



In other news, the Laser Bluetooth Bonanza was a successful day for us - but to be honest, I thought we'd sell more than we did.  I guess we won't be having any more BT stuff for a little while...


Love to all,


Monday 10th September, 2007

Hi! My Name is BT Lamp, Mate!

See what I did there?

I think my least favourite, albeit highly repeated, joke at the moment is "that's what she said".


Of course, like everyone else, I started out thinking it was really funny - I even used it a bit myself - but much like "so's your face" and "your mum", I grew extremely bored and tired of it extremely quickly.


Oh sure, there's still the odd occasion that I might give a little chuckle when someone says something like "oh, I hate grapefruit - it always gets in my eye" - and I have to fight temptation to be the first to say the old TWSS - but I know in my heart that I'm doing comedy a service by not snowballing it.


At least, that's what she said.



The weekend's sales was really weird.  On Saturday we had the USB lava lamps, which I expected to go like a bull from a gate - however we sold only just enough to make margin; however, on Sunday we had the 1.5" DeskMates, which I thought were really lame and boring - but we sold out in the late afternoon!  Maybe I'm losing touch with our community?






Monday 10th September, 2007

Sunday 09/09/07 Competition Results

ZombieJoe finds the screwdriver and takes the gold - I mean, the telescope!
Uh ohhh...

I think...


just might...



ZombieJoe wrote:
s. wrote:

Ohhh, so that's where I put it!

I am NEVER doing a treasure hunt again. Until next time, anyway. Rolling Eyes Wink Cool

Well done! Send me your postal to s at zazz dot com dot au and I'll mail your prize ASAP!

Thanks to the others that had a gander and I'll see you all next Sunday at 11!
Sunday 9th September, 2007

Competition 70 - Sunday 09/09/07

Be the best, beat the rest and win a Miniature Telescope!
Hey, everyone - this week`s comp has started! Follow me to check it out or read below for details...

The Great Zazz Treasure Hunt Part II

Well, I`ve done it again - I`ve lost something.

This week I want you to help me find my screwdriver. It`s buried somewhere on the site - like in a past product or the terms and conditions or something...I need it really bad, so please help me out.

You`ll know it when you see it, it has an appropriate message after it; and I know I didn`t leave it in the products forum or anyone`s profiles - but it could be anywhere else on the site!

Whoever finds it first and posts a link to where I left it wins this week`s prize!

Good luck, everyone! See you when someone gets it or on Friday at 11 if no one does!
Friday 7th September, 2007

Sunday 02/09/07 Competition Results

Ben_G takes the gold - I mean, the gloves!
This week we congratulate Ben_G for this masterpiece:

Ben_G wrote:
mouse to elephant translator so they can finally work out their differences

Send me your postal to s at zazz dot com dot au and I'll mail your prize out ASAP!

Thanks, everyone and I'll see you next Sunday at 11!
Friday 7th September, 2007

Hi! My Name is Purifier

I'm kind of like the opposite of a terminator...

So, Daft Punk is probably my favourite band of all time - and when I heard they were doing their first ever concert here, I got "a little excited" to say the absolute bare minimum.  Tickets were coming out on the 13th, but I put my name down on every mailing list I could find in the hopes of their being a tickets pre-sale - which there just so happened to be, on Wednesday.  


All of Wednesday morning I could barely do anything but think "GOTTA GET TEH TICKETS!!one!" - and thankfully our Internet connection here was working perfectly at midday, I was able to get on, get 10 tickets for me and my friends and now i can rest easy - in full knowledge that I'm taken care of.


So basically what I'm getting at, is I went from a feeling of complete anxiety and nervousness to complete relief in about 15 seconds - and it was the biggest rush of my life, bar none.  Here's hoping the concert's as exhilirating.


Coming December 14 with the Presets, Midnight Juggernauts and now Cut Copy!  


In other news, the Air Purifier was a massive success - selling a tonne of units and making sure every zazzer can breathe a little easier.  Sorry, I had to use it one last time.


Have a great weekend!


Wednesday 5th September, 2007

Hi! My Name is Epson MGB

May as well do the MGB too :)

So, I gained posession of my new apartment yesterday - thanks for asking - and I've already stepped up into getting stuff done there.


I had to meet a painter this morning at 7, which killed my sleep but at least I know I'm getting it done.  I also organised a cleaner with a severe case of OCD to come at the end of next week and I'm hoping I can get a screendoor guy to come on the weekend - who knows how much extra THAT'S going to cost though.  Other than that, my dad's now suggested that I pull the kitchen apart so I can build a new one that'll fit my fridge rather than just buy a new, smaller, fridge. This stuff's just the tip of the iceberg, there's a tonne of other stuff too.  I haven't even started yet and I'm already exhausted.



In other news, the Epson was a really weird sale with a slow morning, a quicker afternoon and some interesting late night sales.  All in all it was "okay" but only thanks to the ink, really.  This morning's MGB, on the other hand, was a groundshaker - selling out the most MGBs we've ever offered before 7am.  These are amazing bags, guys, you won't be disappointed :)


Have a great day,


Tuesday 4th September, 2007

Hi! My Name is DigiMate II

Electric Boogaloo

I've had this awful krink in my neck for the past few days and it's getting worse with each waking moment.


I haven't changed my pillow, so I'm assuming it has nothing to do with that, although it's every morning that it gets much worse.  My mother reckons it's because I sit at a desk too much, but I didn't think I was doing more of that than usual recently, so I actually have no conclusion to come to.  If you have any home remedies for neck soreness, please email me at s at zazz dot com dot au, because I'll do pretty much anything short of drinking animal urine to fix this.



In other urine news, the DigiMates had high expectations on them to sell out by lunchtime, so we were pretty unhappy when they shot through lunchtime and didn't sell out for the day at all - but secretly, I'm not so concerned.  We've got some amazing stuff coming up this month that's sure to unleash a few knockouts.




Monday 3rd September, 2007

Hi! My Name is iZazz eAudio rAnger

That's funny, right?

I don't know why, but I kind of feel like it's still Friday.


Do you ever get that feeling where you're not sure if the weekend ever happened?  Like, you feel excited about what tomorrow "brings" even though it's a Tuesday and you have that sort of "finally" feel?  I'm not quite sure why I'm feeling it today, but I definitely am.


Anyway, the weekend was nice - finished building my PC and got a 9600 on 3dBenchmark06, so I'm obviously pretty psyched about that; I also had a huge night on Saturday with two 21sts and a trip to my friend's new club (albeit terrible).  Then on Father's Day we went out for an awesome brunch, followed by my having a nap and then going to the football to see the Demons lose by winning.  Don't worry if you don't understand what I mean, it's a footy thing.



In other news, the iPod range went really (albeit surprisingly) well with some big sales figures, the eAudio was a massive seller for a Saturday bringing in a tonne of visitors and the Kinetic Ranger was a so-so item with so-so figures and so-so visitors.


Love to all and good luck with all of your Mondays,


Sunday 2nd September, 2007

Competition 69 - Sunday 02/09/07

Be the best, beat the rest and win a pair of USB Warming Mitten Gloves!
Hey, everyone - this week`s comp has started! Follow me to check it out or read below for details...


This week I want you to invent and make an image of the weirdest things you can think of to be USB powered.

It could be a cat, a Delorean DMC12 or anything else you want!

Just make the image in PhotoShop or Gimp or whatever, upload it to imageshack.us and post it here as a thumbnail for forumz.

Extra points WILL be given to professionalism - but "funny" is the real key to winning this one.

Good luck, everyone! See you on Friday at 11 for the unveiling!